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The Big Question

23-Sep-07

So I need some help. My new employer has allotted me a budget at allposters.com to decorate my new office. The question, then, is what to buy:

Option 1: The “Hang In There!” Kitty

Option 2: Dogs Playing Poker

Tough call, right?

“Tofus” Update

29-Aug-07

The Coop’s Linewaiter’s Gazette actually printed my letter. Hopefully this will inspire them to action, and our beloved comic strip will return.

Les étrangers parfaits

27-Aug-07

It’s the rare video of a cat and a computer voice that keeps me interested for three minutes, but between the Walter Benjamin quote and the Bronson Pinchot references, I couldn’t tear myself away.

45th and 6th

07-Aug-07

I had a job interview in Midtown recently. Dressed in proper interview apparel (I clean up fairly well, you know), I spilled off the too-crowded Q train at 42nd Street and into the beehive of morning commuters rushing through the station’s sweltering underground tunnels, emerging from the underground into the sea of tourists that is Times Square. Walking briskly through the crowd in my new, not-yet-broken-in dress shoes, I did my best to avoid collision with the throngs of wide-eyed out-of-towners ambling obliviously down Broadway. Darting onto 45th Street and into the who-knows-how-many-floor monolith of an office building, I breathed a sigh of relief to escape the chaos.

Most people who live in New York—the ones I know, anyway—loathe Midtown. We scoff at its overpriced, gimmicky eateries and grumble at the impenetrable crowds of tourists clogging the sidewalks. With proper motivation—a new exhibit at MoMa, or some fancy new restaurant, for instance—we might bite the bullet and brave the crowds, but for the most part, Midtown is something to be avoided. Midtown, we scoff, isn’t the “real” New York.

I have to admit that, after moving to New York, it did not take long for me to adopt this attitude. But in all fairness, it’s not exactly the kind of neighborhood you go to for… anything. Not the stuff of daily life, anyway. If you’re looking for an Everybody Loves Raymond coffee mug, Midtown is the place to be. Otherwise, you’re usually better off finding your goods and services elsewhere.

But this particular morning, as I sat in a conference room in the 30-somethingeth floor of this office building looking out over Times Square and the oversized advertisements for Broadway shows like Rent and Beauty and the Beast (last show July 29th!), I remembered what it was like to visit New York for the first time. I remembered how exciting it was to walk down Broadway, marveling at the gigantic ads and news tickers. For a minute, anyway, all my distaste for the neighborhood melted away and I actually got kind of nostalgic.

I first visited New York when I was 17, in August of 1994. The trip was a year-early graduation present from my uncle Brad. We stayed in Midtown and managed to do all the things a tourist is expected to do in our four day trip: World Trade Center, Times Square, Wall Street, a Broadway musical (Grease!), shopping in SoHo, and of course, the Statue of Liberty. We even managed to take a quick detour off Broadway to CBGB’s, which we found surprisingly lifeless and dumpy at noon on a weekday. (It was not until my next trip that I would discover that it was pretty much always dumpy, even when not lifeless.) We never strayed far off the first-time NYC tourist’s to-do list, but it didn’t matter.

On that trip, Midtown was New York to me, and it delivered all the glitz and excitement and bustle that I had imagined. As I sat in that office looking down at it all, it occurred to me that when I first fell in love with New York, I was falling in love with Midtown. In subsequent vacations and over my years living here, I have fallen in and out of love with many neighborhoods, and I’m always finding new reasons to love (and hate) them. But Midtown was where it started.

That morning, in the office of one of those big financial companies that are the reason so many of us dislike the area (the irony is not lost on me), a hint of that wonder and excitement came back to me. It was a nice reminder.

An Open Letter to The Linewaiter’s Gazette, a publication of the Park Slope Food Coop.

02-Aug-07

Dear Linewaiter’s Gazette,Meet the Tofus

Some time ago your publication ran a comic titled “Meet the Tofus,” which introduced readers to the characters of Silken and Firm. I was intrigued by the single-paned strip’s enigmatic brevity, and looked forward to learning more about this soy-based duo. I questioned what was behind Firm’s jovial façade, what dark past or burning passions lay just beneath his milky white surface. I was tempted by Silken’s lush prose—do I detect some sexual tension between this protein-packed pair? As I studied its many intricacies, I considered the comic’s potential. Meet the Tofus’ possibilities seemed as endless as the number of ways one can prepare the beloved meat substitute by which it was inspired.

Given my enthusiasm for Tofu’s inaugural installment, you can imagine my disappointment at the series’ discontinuation. How are readers to know what is to become of Firm and Silken? Your decision to cancel this popular comic does a grave disservice to those in your readership who have invested time in following the series from the beginning. Even in the cutthroat business of network television, producers of canceled shows are often given several episodes to tie things up. I do not think it unreasonable to expect your publication—nay, our publication—to afford its readers the same courtesy.

On behalf of the your loyal readers who were similarly enthusiastic about this exciting new comic (our number most certainly rank in the dozens to baker’s-dozens), I implore you to give Meet the Tofus another try. With a stable space in the back of the Gazette and uninterrupted biweekly installments, I’m sure others will join us in our love of these anthropomorphized cubes of bean curd.

And let’s face it—you could really use the content. The monthly meeting minutes just aren’t bringing in younger readers.

Yours Truly,

Chad