A few things I’ve learned watching daytime television this week while I was sick:

From commercials:

- Earning your bachelor’s degree online can take as little as three years.
- Get your degree in video game design or film production!
- Calling [insert online college name here] will put you on the path to SUCCESS!
- Call now!
- CALL NOW!!!
- CALL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From the TV show Cheaters:

- If you really want answers for why your partner is cheating on you, leave the camera crew at home.
- No one really minds being “the other man/woman.” They will say things like “she should have seen the writing on the wall,” and “he hasn’t loved her for months now.”
- When confronting your cheating boy or girlfriend, it is unlikely that the television host’s comments will contribute anything useful to the conversation. Leave him at home with the camera crew.
- Cops comes on right after Cheaters, so if you’re not careful, you could end up watching the first few minutes of Cops by accident. Beware.

Other Miscellanea: 

- Battlestar Galactica is awesome.