anywhereisbetter

Two weeks in a row, I have spent the better part of one of my weekend nights making homemade ice cream and watching movies. Maybe this is a subconscious reaction to my incredibly negative moviegoing experience two weeks ago, when I was subjected to the cinematic equivalent of having a bottle of Coke shoved straight up my ass. Or maybe I just like to make ice cream and watch movies.

This week’s film selection was the 1978 classic Every Which Way But Loose, starring Clint Eastwood and Clyde the Orangutan. In the unlikely event that you’ve forgotten the film’s finer points, Clint Eastwood plays Philo, a bar brawlin’, monkey lovin’ truck driver who’s fallen for an ambitious but unscrupulous young Country Western singer named Lynn (Sondra Locke), who lives in a dented up old aluminum Airstream trailer with a guy named Skylar who turns out to be her pimp. Except Clint Eastwood doesn’t know that about her yet, so when Lynn and her pimp pick up and leave the trailer park in the middle of the night, he smells trouble, and decides to follow the pair from LA back to Denver. By this point, there have been about 10 bar brawls for no reason at all, but they’re funny so you don’t mind. Also, Clyde is Clint Eastwood’s Orangutan, and sometimes he’s around making funny faces and kissing people. Occasionally he gives them the finger.

Anyway, Clint Eastwood packs up the pickup and, with his friend Orville riding shotgun and Clyde (the monkey) in the back, takes off for Denver. Somehow they’ve managed to attract the attention of two vengeful cops and a white supremacist biker gang led by a guy who looks vaguely like Benny Hill playing Colonel Klink, and the chase is on. After an awkward moment involving two cantaloupes, Orville picks up a babe (Beverly D’Angelo) at a fruit stand, and there’s a scene where Clint Eastwood insists on breaking into the zoo and getting Clyde laid. There’s also a scene where Clint and the monkey go drinking together while sad music is playing. I won’t give away the ending, but you can guess that it involves a lot of flying fists and some more monkey antics. And an original song called “Monkey See, Monkey Do.”

It’s better than it sounds.

Accompanying the film was a healthy dose of mint chocolate chip ice cream, made in the CuisineArt ice cream maker that I bought on the street for four dollars. That’s not really an important detail here, but bragging about the awesome deal I scored makes me feel better. But it is worth noting that people that live in fancy neighborhoods throw away the best crap.

This was adapted from a lavender ice cream recipe on the Martha Stewart website. It ain’t the healthiest thing you could ever eat, but damn, it’s good. Have just a little bit if you don’t want to feel too guilty for all the damn egg yolks.

Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Makes about 1 quart

2 cups whole milk
3/4 cup fresh mint or peppermint leaves
1/3 cup honey
5 large egg yolks (yes, FIVE)
1/4 cup sugar
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup chocolate chunks (small)

1. In a medium saucepan, combine milk, mint, and honey. Bring to a gentle boil, cover, and remove from heat. Let steep for 5 minutes. Strain mixture, reserving milk and discarding mint.

2. Combine egg yolks and sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer. Beat on medium-high speed until very thick and pale yellow, 3 to 5 minutes. Meanwhile, return milk to a medium saucepan, and bring to a simmer over medium-low heat.

3. Add half the milk to egg-yolk mixture, and whisk until blended. Stir mixture into remaining milk, and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a wooden spoon.

4. Remove from heat, and immediately stir in cream. Strain mixture into a medium mixing bowl set in an ice-water bath, and let stand until chilled, stirring from time to time. Freeze in an ice-cream maker according to manufacturer’s instructions, adding chocolate chunks when ice cream has begun to thicken. Store in an airtight plastic container up to 2 weeks.